Waiting and Writing

This past weekend, my brother Will graduated from high school and I finished my first year of teaching.

Lots of family came in support of Will’s accomplishment: both grandmothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, best friends.

Our family came of course: Mom, Papa, and me.  Sara is in Peru with SMP (Student ministry partners), a Wheaton-sponsored mission trip.  You can read about her adventures here.

I have been thinking about the sound of the word, the verb, graduate.  Let me phonetically spell it out grad- u- wait.  At least, that it how I say it.  If you are from Maryland, or some other state in which residents do not possess a Southern accent, then you may say it a bit faster.  However, the verb graduate has the word “wait” in it either way J

Waiting.  Will is waiting to leave his only home at the end of the summer. 

When I graduated from college, I waited the entire summer for a teaching job.

Before a graduation, there is usually anxious/excited waiting.  Waiting for the graduation, which, when over, brings more of the same: waiting. 

This summer, I am waiting to see if I can find another job other than the one I have.  My mentor Annie Michaels used to tell me that there would always be a “next thing” while living here on earth.  We are not static but always changing.  Graduate from high school, graduate from college, find a job, find a community, find relationships/marriage, have children possibly, grow old, die. 

Instead of spending my life waiting for the next big thing: marriage, having kids, etc. I want to spend it enjoying. 

Writing for me is a way to enjoy life instead of constantly wrinkling my forehead and balling my fists in preparation for the next “thing.”   Ann Voskamp reminded me of this in her book One Thousand Gifts.  She quotes Annie Dillard:

‘Seeing is of course very much a matter of verbalization.  Unless I call my attention to what passes before my eyes, I simply won’t see it….I have to say the words, describe what I’m seeing….But if I want to notice the lesser cataclysms of valley life, I have to maintain in my head a running description of the present.’

If I don’t write, I may not see.  I may not realize the parts of the story that have already happened.  Have you ever wanted to rewind a certain season in your life so you could actually experience it?  Maybe that is why I love home videos so much. 

So, here are some of the things I experienced today: I opened a new certificate of deposit at the bank because my old one had “matured.”  I cooked chicken divan.  I put a fork in a half lemon and squeezed.  Out came lemon juice!  I read Psalm 89.  I swam with Lauren and played volleyball in the pool.  Sun burned my skin.  I watched Army Wives with Mom on Netflix.  I got Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan and will begin reading it tomorrow (I can’t decide- abridged or unabridged…).  I lived!

In other news, my swing outside has been fixed.

Question for you dear friends: Have you ever wanted to rewind a certain season in your life so you could actually experience it?  Why were you not fully present in the moment?  How would it be different experiencing it this time around?